*yawns* I am so sleepy. I haven't slept in the longest time! And when I do, it's fitful, panicky, and full of nightmares. Tomorrow is the Titanic tea. My last minute cast acts last minute. It's making me crazy. I just...my head is going to explode. And all my line memorization time? Gone. Mary had her baby almost a month early. So Sunnie and I get her shifts. Well, well, well!

I reunited with my best friend from fifth grade the other night, along with Christy. We went to Rosedale...forever. (I hate shopping, I hate it I hate it) And then we went to my house. We sang karaoke, we watched a movie, I drove them home. It was great...

I've been crabby ever since then. I have no real reason, just that I have plenty of reason and no reason at all. So there!

I'm at work right now, of course. And I'm closing tonight at ten. Then I have to go home, make final costume arrangements and all that jazz. Then I can finish memorizing my lines, before going to bed and then getting up bright and early to get to the tea room. I'm so...grrr! Oh, well.

So yeah...I want to be part of an "and". Sunnie AND Paul, Sarah AND Andre, Sunnie AND Alex, Lurae AND Nikki....I've never been a part of an and before, except in "Corrie and Sunnie's house..." and...that will not do. I want to be associated with someone enough to be their and. That's what I want. You know what I also want? A Valentine's Day. I haven't had one since 5th grade, when valentines were mandatory. In 12th grade, my locker that I allowed two other girls to use...was totally decked out in Valentines day stuff. MY locker...none of it was for me. Not even a note. There were bears, and chocolates, and roses, and poetry...all of it was for the two other girls. In my locker. Nikki and Lurae....someone I thought was our mutual friend did it....that's just so...cruel! How could you? Even if you hated me, you don't decorate a locker for 2 out of 3 people who use it. You especially don't cut out the person the locker belongs to! Ugh...it still hurts. Oh, well. During passing times, I took friends to my locker and told them to help themselves to the candy. It was just...so hurtful, I needed to get rid of it. I hated letting them use my locker after that.

Well, anyway. I'm not expecting a Valentine's day...I just...want one. Oh, well! I don't need it. I'll watch a few love stories, all will be well. I have to get going back to work now... and I'm gonna fall asleep on my feet! Oh, well. Talk to you later....journal.

Me