"Forgive"
This pain goes on
Deep inside my heart
Changing all that I knew
This feels so wrong
I'm tired of being angry
But tell me what do I do
I feel betrayed and completely over come
This is the hardest thing I've ever done
I need to find a way to forgive
The way that You've forgiven me
To understand to know that Your plan
Is something that I don't always see
I need to find a way to forgive
Like You've forgiven me
We're all afraid
Silenced by the fear
Of the mistakes that were made
I call I pray
Lord help me to remember
That everybody breaks
Fill me with your spirit and your words
Give me the heart to heal and not to hurt
I need to find a way to forgive
The way that You've forgiven me
To understand to know that your plan
Is something that I don't always see
I need to find a way to forgive
Like You've forgiven me
Friday, November 16, 2007
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Everyone in this world needs a Nikki. But you can't have this one. She's mine. When Andi wrote: "You’re not someone who should be ‘affecting other peoples lives’, because you have never done that in a positive way. Until you can figure out how to change yourself, your contact with others should be limited." It cut deep. For a brief, split second I believed him. Boy, was I wrong! HE was wrong. What wonderful people I have. There were the typical comments laced with colorful language from those certain few...but then there was Nikki.
WHY EVERYONE NEEDS A NIKKI:
He's so...he's so...he's so...ERG!!! I don't even know what to say to all the junk he said! I feel like, yes, he's on to something when he says to "let it go," but what he SHOULD mean by that is to forgive and be able to move on. Not just "let it go" as if it's that simple.
Multiple Personality Disorder = WHO IS HE TRYING TO KID??? Again, like I said in my text message...he must be mistaking you for HIMSELF.
I understand that straight-forward people are great, and that being frank and honest is an admirable quality. But I feel like he's NOT being those things...he's being cruel. He's taking every single comment five steps farther than they need to be just to make it sound more mean. Geez Louise.
And yeah...about the "positively affecting others" part...If he thinks what he says is true, then he NEVER KNEW YOU. You, the REAL you, the you who I know and love and still see in you, even if you're feeling lost. The you who changes over the years and grows, as you should, but always, at the heart of everything, keeps the same spirit. Corrien Killmer, I love you. You have affected ME far beyond positively. You taught me how to sing like no one's listening. You taught me how to think outside the box. You taught me how to dream. You taught me how to be a silly who-cares-what-they-think teenager. I learned, through you, that you're never too old to play on a playground, it only takes a video camera to become a rock star, that geeks are cooler than jocks anyways, and that the kids on my bus called me "mustache" because they were jealous they couldn't grow their own. You learned a language with me. *I LOVE YOU SIGN*. You pointed me down the path of light when I was about to walk down a dark valley. I don't know who I'd BE had it not been for you. Even WITHOUT every little moment we've shared in our lives, that ONE NIGHT could have been the night that saved my faith. I don't even want to know what I would be like without that night. You have drastically changed me for the better, in big ways and small, since I've known you. Corrie, I thank God for you.
Andi can think what he wants, ignore what he knows is true, and go on in his "let it go" world for as long as he wants. I pray God snatches him and brings him back to Him, because he's obviously far, far away. But you, my dear, will come out of this a better soul than he. You can heal, even if it takes quite a while. And I know, with time, you can even forgive. I almost pity Andi, because he seems to be incapable of all those things. Almost pity.
Andi can be wrong. Because I know the truth, and am telling you so that you know it, too. You are a wonderful person, Corrie Killmer, and you have wonderful gifts that bless the people you know. Never, ever, let Andi (or anyone else Satan seems to try and use against you) tell you otherwise. Satan can eat it. (Ooops...is it still sinful to be vulgar towards the devil himself? Heh...).
You, my dear...go listen to RJ Helton's "Forgive." ;) Praise God for who He is. And never forget who YOU are (even if it's hard to see right now). What does that good old quote say? A friend is someone who knows the song of your heart...and can sing it back to you when you've forgotten the words.
And I'm singing it loud and proud!!!! (Which, coincidentally, I learned from you. ;))
Love, always.
Nik
So that's all for now.
God Bless You All.
WHY EVERYONE NEEDS A NIKKI:
He's so...he's so...he's so...ERG!!! I don't even know what to say to all the junk he said! I feel like, yes, he's on to something when he says to "let it go," but what he SHOULD mean by that is to forgive and be able to move on. Not just "let it go" as if it's that simple.
Multiple Personality Disorder = WHO IS HE TRYING TO KID??? Again, like I said in my text message...he must be mistaking you for HIMSELF.
I understand that straight-forward people are great, and that being frank and honest is an admirable quality. But I feel like he's NOT being those things...he's being cruel. He's taking every single comment five steps farther than they need to be just to make it sound more mean. Geez Louise.
And yeah...about the "positively affecting others" part...If he thinks what he says is true, then he NEVER KNEW YOU. You, the REAL you, the you who I know and love and still see in you, even if you're feeling lost. The you who changes over the years and grows, as you should, but always, at the heart of everything, keeps the same spirit. Corrien Killmer, I love you. You have affected ME far beyond positively. You taught me how to sing like no one's listening. You taught me how to think outside the box. You taught me how to dream. You taught me how to be a silly who-cares-what-they-think teenager. I learned, through you, that you're never too old to play on a playground, it only takes a video camera to become a rock star, that geeks are cooler than jocks anyways, and that the kids on my bus called me "mustache" because they were jealous they couldn't grow their own. You learned a language with me. *I LOVE YOU SIGN*. You pointed me down the path of light when I was about to walk down a dark valley. I don't know who I'd BE had it not been for you. Even WITHOUT every little moment we've shared in our lives, that ONE NIGHT could have been the night that saved my faith. I don't even want to know what I would be like without that night. You have drastically changed me for the better, in big ways and small, since I've known you. Corrie, I thank God for you.
Andi can think what he wants, ignore what he knows is true, and go on in his "let it go" world for as long as he wants. I pray God snatches him and brings him back to Him, because he's obviously far, far away. But you, my dear, will come out of this a better soul than he. You can heal, even if it takes quite a while. And I know, with time, you can even forgive. I almost pity Andi, because he seems to be incapable of all those things. Almost pity.
Andi can be wrong. Because I know the truth, and am telling you so that you know it, too. You are a wonderful person, Corrie Killmer, and you have wonderful gifts that bless the people you know. Never, ever, let Andi (or anyone else Satan seems to try and use against you) tell you otherwise. Satan can eat it. (Ooops...is it still sinful to be vulgar towards the devil himself? Heh...).
You, my dear...go listen to RJ Helton's "Forgive." ;) Praise God for who He is. And never forget who YOU are (even if it's hard to see right now). What does that good old quote say? A friend is someone who knows the song of your heart...and can sing it back to you when you've forgotten the words.
And I'm singing it loud and proud!!!! (Which, coincidentally, I learned from you. ;))
Love, always.
Nik
So that's all for now.
God Bless You All.