Friday, November 14, 2003

Hey, I haven't gotten any e-mails from people who want to be in the murder mystery! What's up with that? Grrr...well, Ms. Boleen, I know YOU read this...are YOU available January 24th? Let me know. E-mail me ASAP. And find other people. PLEASE!!!

Well, guess what? I didn't sleep at all last night, and I had to be at work by 6 am. I am soooo overtired. I got up at 5:15, after not falling asleep until around 2... and then I kept waking up because of cruel, cruel dreams. Everytime I take a deep breath and get over what's happened in my past, I go to sleep and dream about it, and everything resurfaces. I think I am so over something, that I can live without it, and I'm happy. And then, I wake up after a dream, and I can't think about anything else. For those of you who know what I mean, you know what I mean.

I was talking to my friend Scott the other night, telling him how going to sleep depresses me. It's as if right before I go to sleep is when my brain decides to take the walls down. All the things I wanted to forget come tumbling back to bury me alive. I can't stand it! Before I know it, I'm a worthless sobbing mass of emotions, cowering beneath my blanket. That's why so long ago I've taken to falling asleep to the TV. I've always been one to get extremely involved in entertainment. So I pop in a movie, or watch something fun. Otherwise I turn into a total insomniac, burdened endlessly with memories.

How can some people just forget the past? How do you leave it behind? There's always something to trigger a memory, and in my case, most past memories are painful. I'm constantly reminded of all the mistakes and heartaches, no matter how hard I try to forget them and move on.

Anyway, that's why I couldn't sleep last night, and now I'm at work. I'm going to go see the White BEar play tonight. It's opening night. I want to go opening and closing night, to offer as much support as possible. Originally I didn't want to see it at all, because I had been absolutely shafted by Holly this year as far as directing goes. I must have been a sucky director or something...oh well. BUT--- I love all the theater people too much not to let them know that. I may not be a part of their daily lives anymore, but I guess I just have to deal with that. I'm old, and only getting older.

My birthday is December 15th. I'm going to be 20. I probably won't have a party this year, because no one even showed up last year. It was my own fault, I guess. Nikki came though. I think I would have...died were it not for her last year. You know, I've never had a surprise party. I thought maybe last year, they didn't come because it was a joke, and then I'd be invited to a movie or something, and there would be a party instead. A surprise party...but no such luck. My birthday didn't happen. Oh, well. It's in the past, right?????

But hey, if someone actually threw me a surprise party...I would not object. I would be thrilled. I would treasure that person for the rest of my life. (As long as they invited all my theater pals)

Well, the shop is getting rather busy, so maybe I should go back to work...?? Eh....no. Not yet. I called my granny from work today, so I'm going over there when I get off. We're gonna hang, yo! Raid her cupboards and all that jazz. Well, Jean is calling me so NOW I have to go. Later!

--Moi

Thursday, November 13, 2003

I have no life, no friends, woe is me. Actually, I have friends. Just...older friends :) I'm not complaining! I just...work so much, and the money flies right out the window. I have about $500 in savings, because I have to pay my parents rent, and I have to pay car insurance, and I have to pay for groceries or something else to pick up everytime I walk out the door. Thanks, mom...

What is a journal for if not to vent and say the things you can't say out loud? Although for some reason I am saying out loud what I'm writing right now...sometimes I need to hear a voice, and most often it ends up just being my own. (Or Mister Moviefone)

Tuesday was my day off this week, as well as Sunnie's. It was veteran's day, so she didn't have class. I was all like "Let's do something fun!" And really? There was nothing to do. I had already gotten her to go to a movie with me, and that doesn't happen more than once every couple of months. Plus I had seen everything already... so after hours of doing...nothing...we decided to go get her Sadie's film developed, and then drive up to Andover to visit Vicki, the lady who had trained us to work at Dunn Bros.

We took Cody with us for some reason, so we spent the majority of the ride holding our breath so we wouldn't have to smell Cody's horrible breath. We rolled down the windows, so he could stick his head out and provide us with a bit of relief.

When we got to Dunn Bros in Andover, Vicki wasn't there. So we visited with Jacob, who I hadn't really talked to before. He's pals with Sunnie, so they caught up. It was fun, and I enjoyed chatting and telling stories. (Like always) Vicki actually stopped by, and was really happy to see us. We talked to her for awhile before remembering we had a puppy in the car. Then we went back to Wal-Mart to get Sunnie's pictures. There were a few pictures of me and Cody in our pirate costumes on the roll. QUITE hilarious...I am such a man...I mean, I LOOKED like a man...

Okay, new subject. Calling all actors! I need you! I'm writing a Titanic murder mystery tea for the tea room, and it's on January 24th. I need to know how many actors I can get, so I can write the script. I need to know how many people there are for SURE, so I can then develop a story, and different suspects. The more suspects and possible motives, the better. So if anyone out there in cyberspace in the white bear area is available and willing...PLEASE let me know. E-mail me at:

windows_in_this_place@hotmail.com.

Thank you very huge. What else is new? Um, nothing. I have three favorite TV shows that I never miss. Gilmore Girls is still up there. But the new ones are One Tree Hill and The O.C. YAY! OOOHHHH!!!!! Okay, I just remembered something really important that I never wrote about!!

Back this summer, I went to the mall of america with my mom. Just the two of us! Now, Sunnie, other peeps and I have met multiple celebrities there. But normally that's planned in advance. So! When my mom and I got there, She immediately wanted to go into Marshall's. I hate that store. So we decided to split up. I wanted to go to Disney, books, music, etc. So...I was on the first floor, and there were a bunch of kids skateboarding around in the rotunda.Then there was a line of kids with wristbands on. In my experience, that meant they were waiting in line for an autograph signing. So I though, hey. I'll find out who's coming, and when...and since I didn't have to meet my mom for an hour, maybe I could grab an autograph. So, I got a wristband, and got in line after hearing they would be there in about 10 minutes. Looking at the line, I figured I'd be shuffled past in no time. They always make those lines go really fast. So!

The people who were coming were two stars from the movie "Grind". Vince Vieluf and Joey Kern. I knew who Vince was, because he was in Rat Race. (He was the one who pierced his own tongue...)

So, I was waiting for the line to MOVE and it wasn't...Before I knew it, I was half an hour late to meet my mom. I figured out why eventually. They were talking to each group of people for a LONG time! That NEVER happens! People were going up there with the other people they came with, and just...chatted.

I had no interest in the movie beforehand, it looked stupid. But I had to pretend to be looking forward to it. So, all of the sudden I was on stage, by MYSELF! Because I came by myself...heh heh heh! And you know what? Joey Kern is HOT!!!!!

So, I walk up all by my lonesome, and Vince says "What is up????" (Enunciating each syllable) And then I said "I'm all by my lonesome!" And so Vince replies with "That's okay. Most of the people here don't like the people they came with."

I knew I was gonna have fun after that! I chatted with them for a long long time. Just me, and them. Joey and I talked about theater. He went to NYU, and studied theater there. We ended up also talking about my mom having cancer, so I hadn't had previous school plans, and he said "You'll make it. And you can use those emotions on stage." Vince piped in with "Perhaps we will be in a feature together someday!" And I squealed...I did. Embarrassing! Joey knew what Harvey was about, and said it takes a lot of talent to play Veta. *YAY* So, they gave me a movie poster, and Vince wrote "I love you and your brain", while Joey wrote "Corrie, you rock!"

I told them how disappointed my brother would be that he wasn't there with me, so they made out a poster for him too. I told them to make it out to Jammer, because that's my nickname for him. I also mentioned that he works in the tea room, so Joey wrote " Jammer, I hate tea!" And Vince wrote "Jammer, I eat rats!"

They were awesome guys. So of course, my heart all a flutter, I promised myself I would go see Grind. And I did! It was sooooo good. Thank god I met them, or I would have missed out on a great flick! Adam Brody is in it...and thanks to me, he is Kelly's new obsession. He is also on Gilmore Girls and the OC, two of our favorite shows. I found out later that he was supposed to be at the mall of america as well...that would have been AWESOME! Someone I would have actually wanted to meet before I got there. That's only happened...once. One person that I was actually wanting to meet because I had previously been a fan. Nick Carter. Everyone else I've met I became a fan AFTERWARDS.

Joey Kern was also in Cabin Fever, which I dragged Sunnie to....she's still upset about that. It was...gross.

Well, I've got to go! Time to go home. Later!

Me

Monday, November 10, 2003

You have to be lost to find your way home. Think about that!
What do a pimp and pirate have in common? They both say "Yo ho!" That has got to be my favorite joke ever. *grins* Anyway! I'm @ work again, with nothing really to write about. I'm done in an hour, and then I have to go buy feline pine cat litter for Harvey Kinkle Binkle...that's what I've taken to calling him lately. He's so funny...

Mmm... tomorrow I have the day off, so i plan on going to go get the "Love Actually" soundtrack (A movie I have seen twice now. I took Sunnie to see it yesterday. She actually LIKED it! That doesn't happen often with Sunnie and movies.) and then doing something fun... something fun? I have no idea what to do... No, not that. I already saw it twice!

See how pointless this entry was? My break is already over... oh, there WAS a really cute guy in today, who was very disappointed by the fact that he couldn't tip me. (We're not allowed to accept tips.) He had an adorable southern accent. Mmm...I love accents!

Well, I'm gonna go back to work now *sniff* I'll write more about my pure boredom some other time. Later!

-- c'est moi

Sunday, November 09, 2003

Hey there! Look at me, I'm getting back into the swing of the journal thing. I'm at work again, surprise surprise...waiting for my last batch of beans to cool so I can shut the machine down, clean it out, and go home. I was supposed to work from 2-6 today, but really? You can roast anytime, as long as you do it everyday. I came in at 9:30, because I was up, and I wanted a free day, not a day with a huge hole in the middle.

I closed last night with Jean, who's just adorable! She's in her 50s or 60s I guess, and we just laugh all the time. Neither of us had really closed before, so it was...an adventure that's for sure.

When I got home at 10:30, no one was there! Sunnie had Sadie's, and my brother was still in Wisconsin. My parents were...elsewhere. So what did I do? Sang at the top of my lungs to my poor unsuspecting doggies before taking a shower and collapsing in front of the TV that doesn't work... *whines* Now that's a long story...

Too long, because I think it's time to go clean the machine and go home. YAY! More later I'm sure. Because my life is oh-so eventful!

Later taters,

Me