My uncles are arriving any day, and I am very excited about it! It will be good to have them here. My world is changing rapidly, and my mom is slowly returning to how she was before the nightmare last Sunday. Everything is so crazy with work though... Jason has been amazing covering my shifts and giving me time. I've had a lot of time to cry, to think, to strategize in some form... my mind is such a mess most days.

Two of the most amazing people are Ale and Jeremy, covering a LOT of shifts while Amber and I are both gone. Amber is on her honeymoon, whereas I am simply trying to not go insane. There are lovely things in life that I would almost call distractions, but they're not really. They ARE life. I don't just need distractions from the life I'm actually living, I'm discovering the life I've always wanted to live. That's incredibly exciting!

Every once in awhile I find myself drifting away, staring off into space thinking of everything and nothing. Thoughts just float on by, running across my mind in rapid succession. Then there will be the calming voice of reason asking what I'm thinking about, and the thoughts scatter, and I can't remember anymore. No matter how honest I feel, words still get trapped. I still can't say everything out loud. I'm afraid of the consequences.

Well, that's really all I've got to say for now. It doesn't matter if it makes any sense! Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha! That was my evil laugh.

Until necxt time then. Farewell!

THEY'RE NOT TUMORS! Praise God. There are spots caused by certain medications she's taking. NOTHING growing on the brain is good, but this is not as terrifying, and possibly treatable. She's having a lot of issues still, but there's more hope than there was before.

I really don't have much else to say, so we'll just leave it at that.

Thank you all for the well wishes, prayers and what not. All is appreciated! Especially Nikki. Hearing from you feels the best, it really does!! Probably because you're the furthest away. Hope to hear from you again soon!

Bye all.

You almost feel guilty when you find smiles in the midst of agony. Just yesterday I was pondering a question. What happens when you see directly in front of you everything you want in life? There's this horrific fear that you just won't be able to have it. So what happens? You take it, you revel in it, and you smile. Ah! It feels so good to smile! To smile and MEAN it!!

Mom is still down in the dumps. My uncles will be arriving this weekend, and I can't wait. Their wisdom astounds me at times. They'll be here to help with some of the heavy lifting. I can't wait to just...relax. That might sound terrible to some of you, but I haven't breathed in deep for a very, very long time.

More later. BYE!!!!!!!!

This roller coaster is too crazy to continue.

Sunday afternoon/evening my mom got a serious headache and began vomiting continually. She was forgetting names, words, and meanings.

My dad assumed the headache and nausea were the result of a terrible migraine. She was disoriented and confused.

Around 1:45 am my dad felt a jerk next to him in the bed. He turned on the light, my mom was having a seizure and her eyes were rolled back in her head. She was coughing out blood before she stopped breathing altogether. My dad screamed for help and I dialed 911. My dad performed CPR until the paramedics arrived. My mom was rushed to the hospital.

She was kept under with a breathing tube for a very long time. It wasn't until early this morning (Tuesday) That we even found out what was wrong.

There are multiple little tumors in my mom's brain. The only way to treat them is with extensive radiation. She's still very confused and disoriented, hugging doctors because she thinks they're related to her. She is not in high spirits, and to be perfectly honest I think the time for her to go home to heaven is a lot closer than some of us would like to admit. She doesn't want to die, and my dad thinks he has absolute control over everything, completely leaving God out of the equation.

Life sucks. There's not much else to say. My prayer is simple. I don't want to lose my mom, but if she is suffering... I want it to be over. I want for the Lord to just take her home.

You know my prayer. Choose your own, but please do pray.