So BJ has come and gone. Perfect timing, really...not. The day he leaves I get the worst cold ever, AND sugar week. Can I die now? Life is so unfair sometimes.

So... we had a terrific week. All my planning really paid off. And so did my wallet. Which is now empty! But it was worth it. I loved every minute of it... a lot of it felt like a dream, and now the dream is over. Time to wake up.

The short version of the week? He got here Saturday, we went to Lurae's wedding (A lot of it was miserable...not gonna lie)then we went to the drive-in.

Sunday we slept in, cleaned the house, and prepared for my "party". Pretty ood amount of peeps, and they loved my Tacos. I saw the previous Laura Meverden, now Anderson, and her baby boy Noah. I was very excited. Kirsten came, and the best part of all...my cousins came. ALL of them! Well, from that one family anyway. I was so happy. I worked hard on that day, and it all paid off.

Monday we hit TMOA, then left on our camping trip with dad...first to Jay Cooke again, and then Split Rock the following day. Ending our trip on Wednesday in Grand Marais. We attempted to visit the grandparents, but they were not home. Oh darn. That night we hung out with Nikki, then watched "Get Over It", one of my all time favorites.

Thursday we laid around lazy for awhile. We watched Les Miserables and then got ready to pick Kelly up. Why? So we could go out to eat at Applebees. No, no...AFTER THAT. Oh? Well...oh yes. We drove to the Ordway to see RENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was so excited I had tears in my eyes. It was incredible. That's all I have to say about that.

Friday we slept in a bit, and then went out to eat at...Applebees. We didn't tell her we had been there the night before. She was excited! She treated us, and then she treated us to a movie. "World Trade Center". We all kinda cried... After that, we drove around looking for my missing medication that I had bought that morning. It is gone...BJ offered to replace it for me. My love, I love you. Then we went to Cup N' Cone... and then picked Kelly up from work, and drove around to different video stores, trying in vain to locate a copy of "2gether"... it doesn't exist anymore!

Saturday we did a bunch of nothing, then went to the library, and to Kelly's apartment and watched a bit of RENT. Then it was off to a KFC BUFFET! But that was only because it was the only thing we found anywhere near VALLEY FAIR! Which was really fun. We stayed til close and then went to the Maplewood Taco Bell.

Sunday I was sick. But we went to church, then came home and packed, ate some pizza, some brownies, and then...airport. I've been miserable ever since.

I desperately miss him. The lonliness seems suffocating at times. It's heavy. My shoulders hurt from the weight. It's all pushing down... I know it will get lighter... but right now it's just all I can do to stay on my feet. This doesn't feel right. This isn't how it's supposed to be...is it? I don't understand. I can't understand.

So now it's back to phone calls. Phone calls that last ten minutes about two or three times a day. Sometimes I get lucky at night time...but there's a possibility that I'm an opener again at Caribou...which means no more night time... I know I nag him a lot. He says call you after dinner...and dinner means eat in like ten minutes, and then talk and hang out for a couple hours while they watch TV...and I wait. He's back to being theirs now, I'm back on the back burner. I know that's not his fault, that's just how it's going to be until he doesn't live at home anymore. But I don't think that will ever happen. Unless he joins the military...and I don't think I could survive that either.

BJ starts school soon. Then we'll never talk. I'm terrified. I'm really scared. What do we do now? What do I do? Any suggestions? Please God, don't let me disappear.

So that's that. Bye for now. It was a great week. Anyone know where God hid the remote? I wanna hit the rewind button.