The sickness doth cling, it does indeed. I sound a little less like a man. More like a teenage boy going through puberty. Very busy day at Caribou today. I feel like I fought a war. We got new blenders though, and they look very tomorrow landish...very "To Infinity and Beyond!" Buzz Lightyear style. They're kinda fun. I felt all high tech and important. Everyone was telling me how amazing I am, because I was everybody's glue...and I didn't fall over dead. I'd have to agree. I'm pretty amazing. HAH! Whatever.

So, then something fun happened when I was 45 minutes away from being done. I just told Kelly about it, so I will share that conversation in here:

KELLY: what's going on?

CORRIE: nothing out of the ordinary

KELLY: Slamming door and flying accusations, yeah

Corrie: see? Normalness

KELLY: yeah, which sucks

CORRIE: indeed I'm just rather...livid. I got off work at one today
PlanSeeDrama: but mom called me at Caribou freaking out, saying that Sunnie was very ill and she needed the carr immediately, wanted me to leave work 45 minutes early, and I ...well, I couldn't I was like "Sunnie has a car..." I was confused. so she hung up on me. so I race to get all my stuff done, panicking...basically ignoring the stuff Elke was telling me to do, shouting "Family emergency! I have to go!" so, I got home, sped might I add... and mom is sitting in her room, counting my tip money, and was like "Oh, you're home. I was panting, and I'm like...is Sunnie okay? "Yeah, she'll be home in about an hour and a half. She just has bad cramps and wanted me to bring her liquid tylenol. They don't sell it at Festival." I was sooooooo mad

KELLY: what the crap?

CORRIE she screams at me about an emergency, HANGS up on me, and then... she takes the car to go shopping

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

and slammed the door on the way out like I had done something terrible "My life cannot be focused around you and your working schedule!" good grief

KELLY: I was just gonna say that

CORRIE yeah

So that's my day so far. Fascinating, I know. Now I'm housebound and all alone, and I'm gonna take full advantage of it. I'm gonna...clean the basement! YES! Word. Awesomeness. Catch ya'll later!

Me

Sunnie's computer is ridiculous. It likes to throw in extra letters and spaces whenever it feels like it. I come across looking like a complete idiot! Oh, well. That's what I get for not proof reading before posting things. It's super...annoying. Anyway! What has happened since yesterday? Nothing extraordinary.

I worked at 5 this morning, and went home at 7. YES! We were over staffed, and i volunteered to leave. I was ill, and they were making fun of my manly voice. Well...fine. I worked two hours and went back to bed. Then I woke up, made myself eggs and toast, and got a lecture f rom my mother for not thinking of her.

It's moments like that that make me dread mother's day. She's buildinig it up so much, about how she's expecting t his huge meal, and she refuses to lift a finger. Which basically means she gets t o pick a d ay in which she doesn't have to feel guilty for laying a round doing nothing while ordering us about. Oh, well. It's what we're all used to.

So then after breakfast, I went BACK to Caribou to pick Megan up because she didn't have a ride to Century. I dropped her off and went back home. Then guess what I did? I went back to sleep. HAHAHA! Then I woke up, read and dozed...then I went to the movies. Makes sense. Deathly ill, why stay at home? GO TO THE THEATER! Duh...

I went to go see "Kingdom Of Heaven". It was better than I expected. I was afraid it would be a plotless peice of crap like 'King Arthur'. I don't know why I hated that movie so much, I just did. ANYWAY...it was good. Orlando was good. And good looking!

Speakinig of Orlando Bloom, Jessi comes home on Sunday, and then leaves for her next adventure the 23rd. That gives us a very tiny window indeed to catch up. And BOY do we have a lot to catch up on! I work all week, so...we'll see what we see.

I wonder when Nikki gets home? I wonder if I'm going to be able to fill her in on all she's missed before...before. Yup. Sooo...

So aftere the movie today, I came home...and ate some soup while watching the finale of Hope and Faith. I've seen that show three times now. It's so over the top, but it makes me laugh. Then I started watching something with my mom, I dozed off, and then I came online to check my e-mail and decided to ramble. Sunnie's late...she got off at 10. Hope she isn't dead. UNLESS Paul is home...huh. Nevermind then. I'll see her on Monday.

So I guess I will go to bed then. Nothing better to do. Write more when something interesting happens! If it happens...we shall see.

Word.

I'm sick. I'm really sick. I sound like a man. I look like a member of the Adamms Family. I'm mpale with h stringy hair, and horrible dark circles under my eyes. I got sick yesterday...in an instant. I was almsot fine, and then I really wasn't. REALLY wasn't. I was swallowing razor blades. At least that's what it felt like. I worked from 5-12, and by the end of my shift, I was absolutely miserable. I went home and went to bed. Yes, yes I did.

This morning I worked at 6. I knew there was no point at even entertainiing the idea of calling in sick, because Elke just flat out doesn't allow it. If you're ill, she makes you find a replacement for yourself. If you can't, you have to come in and work anyway. She will NOT come in and work for you if she's not already scheduled, and she won't take care of the problem like she's supposed to. It's supposed to be her responsibility, but it just isn't...

So, I worked this morning, and was absolutely miserable. Couldn't breathe, couldn't talk, my head was all spacey, I was weak and incredible achey. So, Elke hears me croak something out, and she says "Are you sick?" I say "Very" and instead of showing alarm that I was endangering customers, or concern that I could be very ill, she laughed and made fun of my sick voice. Shortly after that she had me do some heavy lifting and put all the flavor syrups away.

Thank God for Katrina, who offered to stay an extra hour and a half for me, so I could leave at 9:30 (when she was scheduled to be off) She felt somewhat guilty, because I got this wretched illness straight from her. Oh, well. I went home and curled up in bed and felt horrible.

So, it's 9pm and I still feel like I'm going to die, and I still sound like a man...but there's no such thing as calling in sick to Caribou. No, no, no. I checked the employee handbook just in case I could get Elke in trouble for refusing t o allow her employees to be ill... what does the handbook say?

"If an illness or emergency prevents you from reporting for your scheduled shift, you must SPEAK with your Manager at least two hours (or as otherwise required by your mananger) before your shift on each day that you are unable to work."

So, the company requires two hours. Elke requires be there, or have someone to be there for you no matter what. It doesn't say anywhere in the handbook that you will be held personally responsible if you are too ill to work, and the Manager was unable to cover the shift. That is not the job of a casual employee! I know, I should do something about it...but I won't. I don't know how. It's not worth the effort, really. If I die, maybe there will be a revolt or something. Unlikely, but hey...a girl can dream.

Not this summer, but by next summer...my life will be drastically different. Not entirely sure how, but it will be. It has to be. Caribou will be a distant memory. That gives me a little over a year to get over certain fears and go for it. Go for what? Hah...we'll see.

So, still sick which means i should maybe go to bed or something. I'm just glad I got the cycled Caribou illness now, instead of...later. Yup.

So off I go. I'm done with my complaining. I have to work at 5am. I hope a customer catched my disease and they fire me...and then I tell my story and they fire Elke and give me a million dollars. Sounds good to me.

Later!

Me

April 26th, huh? I haven't written anything down since April 26th. Makes sense, I guess. It's another one of those things...too much or too little has happened. In this case, I think it's too much. Some things I dare not write about, while others...just aren't worth it. What am I talking about? If I don't know, you have no idea.

Let's do the typical journal thing and talk specifically about what I did today. It was an okay day. Sort of bittersweet. One of those moods I get in from time to time. Opened at Caribou at 5am as usual. Today it was with Katrina. Only one minor disaster, when I tried tot brew coffee in a coffee urn that was already half full. Turns out the crappy closers *KATE* didn't empty them out. So, coffee went all over the place, but we weren't open yet, so Katrina was the only one who witnessed it.

I worked DT again, and I got to work with my two favorite guys, Adam and Kenny. They're both Christian guys who love to sing show tunes with me, so it's all good. However, you're very isolated and alone when you work drive-thru. So...I didn't get to chat or sing much today. Carrie had her friend Dave from another Caribou come and work with us today. I knew I'd have a great time when he s tarted singing Newsies a long with Adam...yes! SCORE! All four of us were singing so loudly...fortunately for us, the customers enjoyed it.

So, work ended and I went immediately to Target to pick up my copy of The Phantom Of The Opera 2-disc special edition DVD. YES! I had exactly enough money...all in one dollar bills. It was hilarious.

After that, I went home. My mom was giving me chores to do, and I fell asleep sitting up on the couch. My nap lasted for all of five minutes, as mom insisted on carrying on a conversation with me about alfalfa sprouts...

Fortunately, she left and I could sleep! Except that I didn't. My mind was racing through different scenarios of certain events t hat might take place in the near future. I haven't slept for a few days... too much going on upstairs.

There's a ministry fair coming up at FLC, and they've asked me to set up a drama booth to really kick the program into high gear. WOO! Except that...it's only me, you know? And that's a lot of work for one person who works crazy hours like I do. Oh, well. I can handle it. Anyway!

So, I read a book instead. A dumb book, but it kept me busy. Then I had my meeting with Ben and Perry. It was during that meeting that I realized I will be missing the final GetDown of the year. The party, the blow out, etc, etc. It's on May 23rd, and I have a prior engagement. A prior engagement that will have me engaged until around 11pm, a couple hours too late for Getdown. I haven't told Perry yet, because I don't know how. I'd have to have a really good explanation, and I don't feel like it. Needless to say, I was not very talkative during the meeting.

I got home, and I was just restless. So, I got on my bike and started riding. I stopped at the library to return na couple of movies, and then I took a ride down the new Clark Street (Kelly, you haven't seen it...you'll be amazed). I rode all over Lake Avenue (the most beautiful bike ride ever) and I felt at peace for a little while. My head was almost quiet.

The weather was perfect. The past few days it's actually been snowing, and today people were wearing t-shirts and playing soccer in the sunshine. Psycho state...sheesh. Anyway. I rode down to optimist beach, and then my head would NOT shut up.

I walked over to the swing set, and suddenly my head just started...spinning almost with all of these thoughts, ideas, and...fears. The beach was completely empty, and I love it when it's like that. Everything was so calm. The only company was a couple of ducks waddling back and forth alonog the shore line.

I walked over to the swings, and picked out the one swing with a blue seat. It was different from the rest. As I got closer, I realized the seat said "Miracle" on it. It made me smile.

After taking a seat on the swing, I was suddenly a child again. My knees went together, and my toes pointed in, and I began pumping me legs back and forth as fast as I could. I remembered back to when I had been on that very same swing set, had swung as high as I could, and then just let myself fly off onto the soft sandy beach. I couldn't even dream of doing that now. Like so many things in my life, I'm too scared of gettinig hurt.

For a little while, I remembered how I used to feel when I was little. I was always more content by myself and my own imagination. Living vicariously through the characters I'd create in my head. I wrote stories on and off paper, always coming up with the best possible outcomes for each tale I'd create. I was always the star, and I was never unhappy.

I wasn't a loner, I enjoyed other people's company. But it wasn't necessary all the time. I could be by myself and be just as happy. Sometimes I wish I could still be that way. For a moment today, I was...until I looked at the empty swing next to me.

I was suddenly completely overwhelmed with an urgent need of having someone there beside me. I wanted someone to be there so badly, it was almost suffocating. Suddenly I didn't like it there anymore, so I got off the swing and walked to the water. I walked the length of the beach but it was too quiet. The water w as still and suddenly sad. I turned and walked back to my bike. I climbed the hill back up to Lake Ave. and rode straight home.

I busied myself with helping mom make dinner. We watched American Idol, and then I went to go watch One Tree Hill. I fell asleep halfway through. I bet it was good though.

The night ended as it usually does, with a much needed conversation with BJ. Then it was off to work yet again. Alas, alas. The cycle continues.