Hey there howdy hi how are ya? Excellent! Good to hear it! Well, I'm at the coffee shop, surprise surprise. I got off about forty minutes ago, but I'm hanging out on the internet, because the movie I plan on taking myself to doesn't start for another hour. What am I going to go see? "Love Actually". I can't wait to see it! I've been waiting, because it has a lot of people I quite enjoy in it. Especially Keira Knightley.

Keira Knightley was the object of my undying envy when I first saw her in Pirates of the Caribbean. The first woman to kiss Orlando Bloom on screen... and she's so beautiful. And she's YOUNGER than me! How depressing... and she's british. I want so badly to be british. I want so badly to be Keira Knightley! I also loved her in "Bend It Like Beckham" Which I of course own. Wonderful movie.

Anyway! That movie opens today, so I'm taking myself out. I drive now, so that's a possibility. Now that Kelly is gone, it's vital that I drive...otherwise, I'd never leave the house. Since she and I were so much alike, we loved all the same things. All the same places. I never went anywhere without her... and that was a good thing. I didn't mind tagging along, because I usually wanted to go there too. Anyway! So, since she's gone, I HAVE to go by myself, or I wouldn't go at all. Why? Because everyone else sucks, that's why. I'm too unusual. And I have no friends under 30. Hmmm, how'd that happen? Oh, that's right. I'm an old lady. I gotta be what...126 by now?

So! I have 15 minutes until I plan to leave....what do I write about? Sunnie's new boyfriend?? *grins*

Paul. He's terrific. I think he could possibly be the one for her. Wouldn't that be grand? He's the only one the whole family has really been excited about. The only other one I liked was Klecker, but that's because he was my bestest buddy, so that was the reasoning behind that. I knew they had no future. They were too young! But Paul? He's perfect for her, and sometimes... I imagine their future together. I wouldn't mind having him as a brother. My mom and Paul's mom are already planning shopping trips together. Isn't that fantastic? Sometimes I think it's my MOM who's in love with Paul. *grins* Sunnie Stauff... has a nice ring to it. I hope it works out for them. They'd have nice looking children.

So where's my prince charming? Still looking... Sometimes I just feel empty... so many people have come and gone, and I feel stuck in the same place. Dreams too big and far away. But everyone tells me they're not out of reach. If all my english teachers knew I was working everyday at a coffee shop instead of going to school...they'd probably never speak to me again. They all thought I'd have my name in lights by now. Or at least write a best seller... Acting and writing. Not the most promising of careers for an overweight dreamer from White Bear Lake... I have a head full of stories waiting to be written down, but do I have the original spin that makes those stories interesting? To act in Hollywood you need the looks. To act on stage you need the voice. I don't have either. But do I have something else to set me apart? I don't know. Being on the top in White Bear theater doesn't mean you're off the bottom anywhere else... White Bear talent isn't much of a comparison.

I stress myself out sometimes... I could try and be a carbon copy...but it costs thousands to lose things (If you know what I mean) which is so dumb! And it costs money to gain other things. All this money that I don't have....grr and a half times ten! Oh, well. Well! I think I'm going to go to my movie now, and complain more later.

If anyone still reads this...I bet I love you!

Always, Moi