Happy Sunday! Or at least it will be. I woke up after a night of disturbing nightmares. I let the dogs out, ate some shredded wheat, and then watched Lethal Weapon 2 with my mom. Now it's housework time. Dad's working today, which is good...because he's not exactly speaking to me. That's always fun. That's always been one of his downfalls. He'll turn his back on a family member no questions asked, if someone else claims they did something bad. My mom would make him do that to me, and now Kelly. Spectacular! Who needs them? I do...

So we're supposed to have pork chops today. Kelly moved into her apartment and stayed there last night. I hope she enjoys it. She'll probably be here today. There will be some hostility thrown around, and I'll end up in my room...yay. Outcast ruins the day. It's not a negative attitude, I promise. Just a realistic one.

I wish BJ lived here, so I could be mroe like Sunnie. Sunnie is NEVER here. I hardly ever see her. She's like a ghost. She's always doing something with Paul. If BJ lived here, I'd probably always be doing something with him...when I'm not working.

When did I become the family loser? I did amazing things. Sunnie goes to school, and I help her with her homework... I could do college without college. Kelly goes and drops out, goes and drops out. She gets an apartment with no application process. My brother used to get straight D's and F's...he gets a B and gets a reward. I am the only child who got continuous straight A's throughout high school, so I never got rewarded. I would get in trouble if I dropped to a B... but never got rewarded.

What motivation did I have to continue? I guess that's my own fault. Right out of highschool, I went straight back to be the theater director. That's SPECTACULAR. I become the drama director at a church ALL BY MYSELF! I do things people wish they could do, but I don't have the oohs and ahhs of a stellar paycheck. Oh, Corrie. You're such a failure.

I leave this place, and have to come crawling back. That's why I'm my own personal failure, but what's their reason? My mom says I'm wasting my brain. How does she know? She doesn't know anything about what I do with it.

My dream is simple. Perhaps laughable to some, but it's always been the same. Since I was five years old... I would follow my mom around, immitating her housework. I had my own mini broom, my own mini mop. I wanted to be just like my mom. She took good care of us, she made the house sparkle. I became a neat freak at a very early age. I would watch my mom cook, and ask to help. I was the first child who learned how to make her enchiladas. I wanted to be just like my mom.

Granted, as I grew and my mom changed, I didn't really want to be like her at all. I want to be just like how my mom used to be.

I want to be a housewife. I don't have huge career ambitions. I don't want to be the woman executive on top of it all. I don't want to be an interior designer. I don't want to be in social work. I'm not my sisters. I want to have a husband, a home, and a family...and I want to take care of those three things, every day for the rest of my life.

Here comes the laughable part. IN my spare time, I'm going to write either one awesome novel, or a series of young adult fiction that will skyrocket into the public eye, and be turned into a series of highly successful motion pictures.

Laugh all you want, I'm a good writer. Not the descriptive genius that Kelly is. I make people laugh. And my plots are good. Not many people have gotten the chance to read any of it. I guess that's okay with me. It's hard being a writer's friend, I would imagine. They always want you to read their latest project. Oh, well. It took BJ months of me poking and prodding him to get him to read Channel 13. Maybe I'm NOT a good writer. Hmmm...

Anyway. Off to the library I go, I guess. I have a movie to return. I love the library. It's so quiet. No one can fight with me there.