Fear.

Why does it have so much control? How does it keep its grip so tight?

I remember having that conversation repeatedly wiht my Mom when she got sick again. She lived every day in fear. I told her that wasn't living. True, her fears were far more substantial than mine. Fear is fear.

She was terrified of dying, and cried her days away. The cancer took a stronger hold on her with every tear she cried.

The brain is unbelievably powerful. I have heard so many stories and testimonies illustrating the power the brain has over the body. Power over your entire life! Every once in awhile I allow my mind to wander to the magic that is "The Secret". It was a very successful book several years back, and then became a documentary.

The gist of it is simply that your brain is constantly putting forth waves. Versions of electricity that emits and pulls energy. It focuses around the principle that you are constantly attracting things from the universe. The thing you think about most in any given moment is what you are attracting to yourself.

If yous spend enough time thinking about wealth and power, eventually you will get there. If you spend all your time in fear of dying, it goes without saying that you will get sicker and sicker, or simply meet your unfortunate end in some tragic way.

Fear is little else than a constant thought, an energy, a wave you are sending out into the universe. The universe can't tell the difference between good thoughts and bad thoughts. So, if you're thinking of all the horrible things that could happen, that's what the universe thinks you want, and therefore....well you get the picture.

That brings me back to fear. I'm not terrified of dying or meeting some tragic accident. I am terrified of failure. I am so scared that the things I have been dreaming about since childhood will never be possible. So guess what? They aren't. At least not until I start believing they truly are.

The Secret instructs you to dream specifically. Picture your dream house every single day down to the tile and and grout. Why is this so difficult?

Fear is stronger than dreams. At least in my world. I need to change that. I need so badly to change that. This life I have right now is not the one I was meant to live. If my Mom had banished fear from her life, would she still be alive?

Long before she was sick, my mom would watch tear jerker movies and vocally admit that her biggest fear was dying of cancer and leaving her family behind. She was terrified of being away from the family she had been through so much to create. She never wanted to leave my Dad, so she focused instead on the fear of that actually happening.

How different would the world be without fear? That question haunts me. There is so much power just beneath the surface that we can all tap into.

It's time to dream specifically...

I will be a successfully published author within five years. I will have a lovely country house with a wrap around porch and swing. I will have at least two children within ten years. I will be happily married. I will write from home, all of the stories in my head finally making their way to paper. Published paper.

I will have a close network friends that include me in every aspect of their lives. I will have paid off all of my Dad's bills, restoring my childhood home and keeping it open for visiting friends and family.

I will have enough land to own horses. I will ride horses.

I will become an animal foster parent.

I will banish fear from my life once and for all, and start living the life I have always been meant to live. There is no time like the present, that's why it is a gift! (Thanks, Mom)