Guess what today is? The first day of my published life. How incredibly entertaining! No, but really. There is of course something to talk about. I'll explain briefly. Or not so briefly...we shall see... briefly. ANYWAY! So, there's this guy. *a hush falls over the crowd as they lean in to listen to a very intruiging, very cliche, very predictable teenage drama.....then they lean back...* and I've kinda sorta liked him for two years. Dreams came true when said guy e-mails me. *Oh, I can hear the mocking sighs!* Anyway, we chat a bunch. I become very happy. I start to think "Gee, could this be my first boyfriend??" Hey.....stop laughing! Lots of people are at least 19 and have lived a life of lonliness! I don't know of any...but...*whines* stop it already!

So the point is, is that one of my good gal pals? Yeah, he's in love with her. She is not attracted to him in the least. He and I told each other all our sob stories. WOW, we say. We have tons in common. We've been through all the same crap. "Oh, whine whine whine...no one will ever like me." he says. Ha! How wrong he is! Anyway, she shuns him, he finds out about me...he shuns me. Geez! A week ago he was singing my praises about what a great friend I am! Then my sister tells him my secret. Ah, family...a bond like nothing else. Well! I only have one thing left to say...

"I never asked you for anything, Tim. I'm not expecting anything, don't worry. I told you once before, that I love helping people. Sometimes it just takes me awhile to figure out how to do it. By letting you know that I had feelings for you, I intended for you to realize that you are far from unlikeable. And along with that, hopefully I would offer you a bit of insight into Jessi's situation. She thinks you're a terrific friend. Nothing more. And now you can understand that, because that's how you feel about me. I never expected any different. I just wanted to help you. Now I think I have. You feel better about yourself, because there is at least one person. I will now and forever more view it as a very hurtful personal insult if you say "Nobody will ever think of me like that..." Because my name is not 'Nobody'. So there....and now you can better understand her, and mayhaps not resent her for it."

There! Now that that's all said...I have a confession to make. Christine, darlng dear friend of mine...I am so insanely JEALOUS of you! But alas, I am completely and totally happy for you at the same time. You were my common gal pal! We had every frown down to an art. No guys for us! Not that we didn't want any...good grief! Quite the opposite, wouldn't you say? Well, I lose touch with you for just a bit, and WHAM! Your dreams come true, and I'm obsessing over Cute Blond Elf Boys (Ha! Ha! Ha!) Well, Seth sounds completely amazing, and I better get to knowhim very very well, or you shall never have my approval. And how can he not want to know me really really well, anyway?? Goodness Gracious...I'm fabulous! HAHAHA!

Well, that's an intro into the life of me...and that's not even a small sample of the surface of the whole thing. But alas, I am tired of typing. Anyways, love you all, whoever you may be! Keep smilin, or I'll be frownin! Laterz...