OKay, I have to explain what I wrote about earlier. I was super mad at Sunnie, because I KNOW she read the journal Nikki and I write back and forth to each other in. How did I know this? It was missing, and i found it on her bed, hidden beneath all her blankets. She denied it, asked me how dare I accuse her of something like that...made me feel terrible, when I KNEW she did it! She denied it profusely, but then confessed in a letter. She hates my online journal, and she still doesn't know that I am still boiling mad at her. So if she reads this, my honest holds nothing back which is totally my right journal...then so be it. AHHHH! She drives me insane! Her letter was as follows:

"Corrie-

Yes, I read PART of your journal. Just one part. Although, I know I was in the wrong, and that there is no excuse, you need to hear me out. Yes, I denied it at first, and I'm sorry. It's been on my conscience. But for you to come to my work was wrong. I understand you feel hurt and betrayed. I'm going to tell you why I did what I did, and for once- believe me. Try to understand that I have feelings too. You're not the only one that hurts. Not a day goes by where I don't feel betrayed by you. You're a good sister to me, with a loving, giving heart. We're obviously different. And I know I can be very selfish. One huge difference that sets me apart from my sisters is that I always tell what's on my mind, and share my feelings. You do not. You act like a stranger. I know you don't trust me, and I'm sorry to hear that. Every time you and I are close, I do something to screw it up royally. The reason I always feel betrayed by you is yours and Nikki's constant battle against me--because of TIm. (Side note...AHHHH! SHE'S INSANE! Okay, sorry. Back to the letter) You're always going to hate me for dating him, and I'm beginning to wish I never did.--Just because everything about that relationship will always rest on my shoulders. Tim used me, or maybe he didn't. But we all learn from our mistakes, and I was a mistake. He probably wishes he never dated me. I know you always hated the thought of your jerk of a sister dating what you call your best friend. Please stop making me feel like crap about it. Let things be okay. There was a time when I cared for him more than I even cared for myself. No one understood. But because Nikki is your best friend, her feelings matter the most, which I understand. But ever since your online journal, I stopped trusting both of you. It's you two against me always. I saw Klecker's name, so I read THAT page, and I was right. I hate that you won't let us be friends, but what you say goes. And it's always been that way. I'm the younger dumb one that has no feelings. But under all that selfishness,is enough sensitivity, hurt and anger to last me a lifetime. Just be grateful you have a best friend, and never a boyfriend. It's not all it's cracked up to be. It all stabs you in the back. Just like what I do best to you. I'm sorry."

AHHHH! OKay. Time for me to pick this thing out completely... Ah-ah-AHEM! I'm not the only one that hurts....DUH! Which is why I spend the majority of my time listening to hers...and everyone else's problems. Only relating my own experiences if they seem like they will help. I never tell her anything that's wrong, because she'll forget about it the next second anyway. She always tells me what's on her mind, and her experiences, how she feels, etc. That's true. I act like a stranger? That might be true...but it's not like I have a choice! She doesn't show any interest in anything about me. The first words out of her mouth everyday I see her, are something about herself. Never fails. She never inquires about anything in my life. No wonder I'm a stranger to her...she doesn't want to know me. I don't trust her, and I'm glad she knows that. That's out of the way. She bad mouths me to people, she "gets together" with guys who USE ME TO GET TO HER!!! What kind of sister does that? Not one that you trust, that's for sure. Now then, the Tim thing comes in. Good glory, let it DIE freako!

Nikki and i have a constant battle against her because of Tim? I missed it...I must be missing in action, because I've never even seen the battlefield. How could I hate her for dating him, when I'm the person who got them together in the first place? Come now, what kind of sense would that make? I was little miss matchmaker. She's BLIND! Delusional...gee whiz...How could I hate the thought of them dating when it was my doing? That's DUMB! Stupid, stupid, stupid. How do I make her feel like crap about it? If anything, she gets mad at me, every single time Tim and I have a conversation that doesn't include her in it. We've been friends since 4th grade, get over yourself! I can't say it enough...the world does not revolve around you just because you dated my best guy friend. Nikki IS my best friend. But I always put Sunnie first in everything. I stopped talking to Tim, because she said he hurt her, and it hurt her even more for me to be his friend. But he didn't stop being mine. I hate myself for giving things up on her behalf all the time...Nikki is my best friend, because she actually takes the time to know me. She knows everything about me. She can finish all my sentences for me. She loved Tim too...but she knows he and I were friends. She loves that we still are. Because she knows me, and she knows how much Tim means to me. We go way back. Sunnie still hasn't gotten the picture yet. He's my friend. Her making out with him one time too many didn't change that, and never will. He didn't use her to get to me, so she can't even draw a comparison there. I owe her nothing.

So she read the journal, because she's jealous. Flat out simple jealous. I'm close with my friend, and she wants to be me in that scenario. I'm flattered....ha! What did she read in that journal...oh yeah. NOTHING! She read what Nikki wrote about wondering if Tim Beier had told Klecker that Nikki knew the information Sunnie herself told her, and she wondered what he thought about her knowing about it. It was nothing she didn't know you complete and total SPAZ! As far as me not letting the two of them be friends...where in the world does that come from? How could she think that low of me? She's insane...I can't stand it. She doesn't know me at all. She doesn't know one single thing about me! She's completely involved in her own little world, with her own little circle. She wants to keep these circles so separate...but she wants everything in my circle to become a part of hers, and she wants me out of all the circles altogether! Well, that's not up to me. Talk to the people you want to take away from me, Sunnie...seriously. I'll always be their friend....

I love how she said never a boyfriend too...that's great. Lovely. She said it all stabs you in the back. Like TIm did? If that's what she thinks, then why is she trying so hard to be his best and closest friend? Stop contradicting yourself, psycho. Wake up and realize that everyone has their own life, own problems, and own circle. Maybe YOU'RE the one who's out of the picture. Before you hurt someone else, I just thought you should have a little wake-up call. Are you awake yet?

Anyway! Okay, that's the last time I write about that. THat's it, that's final. I'm done hurting and feeling bad for nothing. I'm breaking all my bad habits. Anyway! So. Ahem...moving on. Tomorrow is the theater banquet. Yay fun! I'm excited! This past Monday, Tim Beier and I went to a movie. We saw Bruce Almighty, which is very funny. Especially when the person next to you drops a pop can during the silent serious part! (heh heh, Tim!) Nah, it was fun, and it was nice to spend some time with him.

So in other news, Kelly is moving to New York. Yeah, isn't that fantastic? I'm so excited! She's driving there...WITH ME AND NIKKI!!! ROAD TRIP TO NEW YORK, BABY! How excited am I??? My DREAM! And I get to go with Nikki. Woo-hoo! Kelly has a job in New York as a Nanny for $350 a week! She is so so so so happy! Well...

That concludes this entry....I'm going to go watch a delightfully funny comedy starring my current obsession. Later tators!