*Side note before the following: I would say don't hold me accountable for anything below, but it's in the wee hours of the morning when you're most honest. I just wish my honesty always made sense. Please ______, (fill in the blank) don't confront me about any of this. That wouldn't be fair, and I'll just ignore you. Just so you know. Feel free to comment, and enjoy the show. It's late/early, and I'm still awake. Time to be crazy.



Let it out. Get it out. It's 4:30 in the morning, and I find myself in the same position as last night, the night before that, the night before that, the night before that...

So many broken promises, too numerous to count. You try to find your way around, depression seems to mount..

Ah, yes. Fighting, falling, failing. Getting swallowed by another complete circle. LET ME OUT! What's that? You can't hear me? But I've already repeated it so many times. I'm too tired now.

What do you do about the past? What about the pasts that don't belong to you? Those are just as difficult. Sweep away, sweep away, there before but gone today.

Disappear reappear. Leave me alone! I don't care if you're all on your own.

What am I supposed to do now? Fix the world? That would be interesting. I'll snap my fingers, bob my head, keep up appearances, drive away dread.

DON'T FORGET TO SMILE!

Before you slip further away into debt, remember what it felt like. What's that? Freedom. Now it's laughing at you, taunting you. La, la, la, la! Yes, hear the lovely melody. You won't forget it.

There are worse things, of course. Sometimes life makes perfect sense. And THEN what do you do? It's not a whole lot of nothing today. It's barrels of somethings. Somethings that don't make sense together. It's a bad combination. Pity those who get something from that barrel on their plate. Pity. Witty pity.

I don't have to make sense today. I have the right to be psychotic. Check my license. I'm an authorized maniac. WATCH OUT! Oh, too late. You've been hit. Soon to be discarded by my ever present wit!

Shhh, don't give away your secrets. Soon they'll all think you're insane! But wait, how is that now? You've got the perfect brain. A prize specimen indeed! Frankenstein would be most pleased. Except for that part there, and there, and there... hmm. Everywhere. Mayhaps we disagree. Excuse me...

Are you confused? Oh, you readers out in space. It's okay. If you understood, I'd recommend so many things. Don't worry, I'll leave a trace. Of what? Oh, sanity. It's gone from time to time. but it will return! Along with all things sublime.

What do you do when you hit the bottom? Bounce back! Bounce back! What rhymes with bottom? Autumn? That's a nice time of year, but not here. I'm told the leaves don't even change. That's strange.

Are you okay? You're asking me. Of course! You know? I'm fine. Too often lacking distractions from a destructive state of mind.

Did you know my greatest wish, is to be loved and then be missed?

Don't critique my ramblings, don't ask me to explain. Don't tell me "Corrie, talk to me" don't analyze my brain.

So many things have gone wrong. So many interrupted songs. I'm trying hard to be me, but sometimes I don't know which "me" to be. I wish I made everyone happy, myself included. Sometimes I feel I found a dream, yet I somehow intruded.

It seems it's not MY dream...

But it has to be. My life. Yep, I'm still here. What is it that I fear? Waking up. Oh, yes. But it's not a dream, it's true. You know how I know? Because I'm me. You're you.

WAKE UP AND GO TO SLEEP!

My brain is too full. I need a lull in activity. Wallow in my misery and close my eyes, wake up surprised to find it all to be illusion, an intrusion in my own imperfect world. DELUSIONAL. Confusional...

I used to be a writer. Now I'm just a fighter. Not of any good cause, just fighting myself from day to day, trying my best to find the way.

I'm not alone, not at all. I know that. I know the way, to HIM I pray. He makes it all make sense. But the truth, my head ferments. Rotten truths turn into lies, and friends to spies. Sad, really. Silly!

Once again, don't ask me to explain. It's probably just a game. I say a lot of words, but only noise is being heard. I know, I know. Don't worry. I'll wake up anew, with YOU. No more sick, no more pain, no more worries, no more brain. Wouldn't THAT be insane? No. Nice... a break from boring, mundane.

We'll figure it out, God and I. He's a great guy. He laughs when I feel abandoned, and then he feels hurt that I felt that way in the first place. Now I understand. In the second place.

Crazy, lazy, dazy. Take your pick. Ooey, gooey good, it's thick. What's that? Oh, life. Trudge on through. It's at certain points the stickiest glue. Be careful! Whoops. There goes your shoe. (It's stuck... now what do you do?) Get some new shoes. The ones with the really good traction. ACTION! Take two.

Okay, this is getting lame, it's all the same. I know, I'll go. But first, let's rehearse.

Act One, scene... first. Let's Go! Get on with the show.

"Ahem, good morning friends! How are you today? Splendid? Splendid!"

Ended.