Well, not good news time. I feel defeated. I don't know where to go from here. Allow me to explain:

I have loved my time here with BJ, his friends, and his family. I wanted to believe this is where I was supposed to be. Three weeks before I moved, the place I was supposed to stay fell through, so I moved in with his family instead. I tried and tried to find a job, and nothing happened. I was viewed as lazy by most of his family, and that's simply because they had no idea. Nothing was working.

Benlee came along and seemed to be a Godsend. Too bad he wasn't. I moved to Opelika so he could be with Kelly, and that ended up worse than bad. He's now given us 13 days to be out. If he intended to shock us, he failed. We had been planning on leaving for weeks. All he accomplished was eliminating the guilt we have have felt in leaving in the first place. He owns this apartment, so it's his. Plain and simple. We'll gladly leave. If only we had somewhere to go...

Originally Frazer sounded so promising as far as helping us out goes. They told me they'd find an apartment for us, pay the deposits and the first months rent. It seemed to be another Godsend! Wrong again? I think so. I got a phone call today saying that we don't exactly qualify for their charity. In order to recieve financial assistance from them, you need to be working full time. Which leads us to the unbearable cycle yet again.

YOU CAN'T FIND A JOB SOMEWHERE AN HOUR AWAY FROM YOUR CURRENT LOCATION, UNLESS YOU HAVE A PLACE TO LIVE! YOU CAN'T FIND A PLACE TO LIVE UNLESS YOU HAVE A NEARBY STUDY JOB! Yes, thanks for telling me AGAIN!

We are out of money, we are out of resources. We can't afford to drive to and from Montgomery to make money we would have to use on gas to get to and from Montgomery. And in less than 2 weeks, we won't have anywhere to go to and from...from. We have tried and tried and failed and failed in the job department.

Nothing has worked out since I got here. The only thing that's so amazingly wonderful, is being with BJ. We've grown so much, and discovered so much more about each other. We've made it through a lot. A LOT. Lots of obstacles. And now we're stronger, and better prepared to face what's next. So if nothing else, I may have been here just to be able to grow and learn along side him. Through our daily devotions and discussions, we've become pretty solid. Moving away from him will darn near kill me, but not completely. It's going to hurt. A LOT... but if that's what I have to do... we'll survive.

It comes down to this. Unless I have found a SOLID job, and a SOLID (not temporary) place to live within 2 weeks, I'm out. I'm moving, yes... but back up North. BJ and I can make it through the distance, we've done it before. We know we're supposed to be together, but maybe not in person, maybe not in Alabama.

In August, I would begin my never seeing BJ anyway. With work, and school, it's been a long time fear that I would only be a distraction. Maybe I was only here for the here and now, I don't know. I don't regret it, not in the slightest. It wasn't a long vacation, like Debra likes to call it. It was work. Hard work. If my time is done here for now, it will be made clear in less than 2 weeks time.

Kelly and I have things to discuss, I'm sure. We're already talking about how we could afford a U-Haul to get our lives back to MN. We have pretty definite jobs if we did go back, back to the Bou. Can't say that I exactly WANT to do that, but...hey. I'm a legend there, and I'm good at it. We'll see what we see.

That's the update for now. I'm sure some of you out there are made happy by this development, either you want me back in MN, or other may want me out of AL. HAHA! It doesn't matter. It's God's plan, not mine. I have to figure out what it is and follow it.

Over and out.

Me