Everybody wants to be loved every once in awhile. We all need someone to hold onto, just like a helpless child...

Good lyrics. I've been loved, but not like I should have been. I love too easily, and I get ruthlessly hurt and tormented. Crappy Valentine's Day to all. I'm a scrooge, I know. I'm so scared of ending up all alone. It seems I have two options. Stay alone, or get hurt over and over and over again.

Please stop what you're doing, wake up and realize that I'm roadkill. I'm not dead yet, but if you keep running me over, I will be. I am an actual human being. True, I resemble a pancake more often than not, but I promise... my brain is still functioning, and pain of all sorts still registers.

One step closer to becoming a hermit...

I can't control ANYTHING. It's not in my hands, it's in His... but he gave us all free will, so nothing is for sure when His plans include other people. You can still end up with your face in the mud. Best laid plans.

Sometimes I picture God as like a soccer coach, and he has every play perfectly mapped out. He gives me my pep talk, and sends me on my way. This is what we've been training for, I know exactly what to do. Then someone from the other team "accidentally" kicks me in the knee and I'm down for the count. Face/Mud. Boom. I crawl back to God, and He sucks a big breath through his teeth and is all like "Ouch. I'm sorry, Corrie... you were doing EXACTLY what I told you to do. I was hoping the other team wasn't going to do that, but... well... free will and all." and then I get a little bit angry. "Seriously, God? You knew that was going to happen? No fair!" And then He reminds me that he knows all, and knew that He would also be there to comfort me afterward. Then I feel dumb for getting mad. Onward and so forth. You get the picture.

I just kind of want to be taken out of the game. Put me on the bench, coach. I'm exhausted...