Your attention, please. I have added another link to an old favortite. Fan Fiction Etc. Was the fan fiction site that belonged to Kelly and I. It's so fun to go back and look at! So if you feel like reading about our old obsessions, please. Go for it! Enjoy!

I have a new layout! It's pretty! It's green. Anyway.

I need to get better. In more ways than five methinks. I'm having difficulties in too many areas. I need to cut down on problems. I wish that were easier. Blah blah blah blah blah.

SO! I love love letters. I used to dream of love letters when I was little. I wrote myself love letters and hide them in my desk at school to make the boys in my elementary school jealous. I was such a little...gosh. I was funny. ANYWAY! I love love letters. I re-read some from BJ recently, and sometimes I find it hard to believe that they were actually written to me. It's funny. They're so wonderful, I feel like I wrote them to myself! One of my favorites is the card BJ gave me with a bouquet of roses.

"To the woman who made my heart beat for the first time..."

*CHILLS*-- my Prince Charming. Anyway. I just felt like gushing a bit. I've noticed myself slipping back into some old habits. Things Kelly used to continually criticize me for. My own form of self mutilation, relationship sabotage. Every once in awhile, I find myself doing it with BJ. Sometimes he deserves my "complaints"... but. Something is just different, and I think that it has a lot to do with the move. Something is missing. But not love. Nope, nope, nope.

I'm scared of everything, and I know it. At least I admit it. Sometimes people don't want to know if you're scared, though. In high school I always got told how I was so admired because of my strength. Nothing phased me. At least not on the outside. My choir director gave me an award at the end of the year. She calls them the "Dymit Awards" (Her last name) and she makes them up. Some things are really stupid, such as the award for the longest note held, or something like that. I got the last award, and the loudest applause. I kept the certificate. It says "For her spirit, strength and courage. We can all learn from her." If only they knew how messed up I was at the time. But maybe that's what strength is. Not being so transparent. I worked so hard on the walls thing, and BJ wanted them to disappear. I wonder if he regrets that...

ANYWAY. Enough for now. I need to focus on the good. I can't wait to see BJ tonight. I'll feel so much better. Get out of my head bad, crippling thoughts!

IN other news, I received a belated Christmas gift from Nikki in the mail the other day. I LOVE getting mail! (hint hint) So! If you want it, I will gladly give you my new address.

Kelly is going to be here soon. I can't wait. It's gonna be so much better. I will have a best friend aside from BJ, and stop driving everybody crazy. I'm driving myself crazy. BAH!

I love you all. Especially you. And YOU are the greatest. You're wonderful. Hehehe. BYE!

Me

Hello friends. Still not feeling completely complete, but my attitude is better. I'm excited to see BJ tomorrow. Saturday is his cousin's wedding, so that will be more family meeting fun. And then Tuesday Kelly gets here. I'm trying really hard to have a brighter view of things. I know it's been tough on BJ too. Tougher on me, but still. Even Elke said when I'm unhappy, I bring people down. I hate hearing that, but I know it's true. Here's my official apology: I'm sorry for my contagious sadness. I really am.

So! I talked to Kelly and my mom last night. My mom is sending me clothes for the wedding, because all of my nice clothes mysteriously disappeared. I have no idea what happened to them. I talked to Kelly about apartment supplies. She has EVERYTHING I want except a toilet brush, and a toaster. Dang.

Well, I guess I don't have as much to say as I thought I did. Oh, well. I'm sure I'll make up for it later. Farewell, friends.

Me

TRUTH BE TOLD. I am sick. Again. I spent the majority of the night in the bathroom. I am miserable. I'm so tired of feeling not good. Before...I know I was depressed. Depression opens the gates to illness. That was my fault. But having been in it and coming out of it before, at least I can recognize it. I only fell deeply once or twice. I didn't stay in it for weeks at a time like before.

I came online with the hopes of finding a distraction. I always love hearing from back home. That always lifts my spirits. I got to hear from my Amber, and Sunnie sent some more pictures.

My head won't stop pounding. It gets a little better every day, but I've never had a 3-day headache before. It MUST be hormonal. Birth control withdrawal? I dunno. It was prescribed for me years ago, but I have no more health insurance at the moment.

BJ said his Aunt is going to get it for me for free (female issues...too many of them.) that's one of the promises he made before I moved down here. There were a lot of those promises flying around when I would express my concerns. Apparently, I'm going to have the meds by Saturday. I explained to BJ last night that I didn't mean to harass him about it. (Because he had said he didn't want to be so pushy with his aunt) and I didn't want to push his aunt, but it's a little more than a little important. Had I known this wasn't as "taken care of" as I was lead to believe, I may have waited in moving. I put it into perspective though. It's not just my problem, (since we plan to be married) without the medication we may not be able to have children in the future. Funny problem, huh? Without birth control, I can't get pregnant. Bwa-ha-ha-ha!

I can't get rid of this headache. I can't really look at the computer screen. I tried, I failed. If there are a lot of typos, forgive me. I didnt check. Thank you to those who write to me. Takes the edge off the pain. I'm okay though. I'm afraid I won't be better until I have the meds, though. If this headache is what I think it is. And it's not just a headache...it's...well, I thought I had caught the flu from BJ last night. I felt really sick. I hope I am wrong. I think I was wrong...but I can't tell the difference right now.

Oh, it's gonna be a long week if I'm right about the meds. Good glory. Save me.

ME!

I drove to Montgomery yesterday (Sunday) for church. I love BJ. Unfortunately, Saturday night BJ's computer officially died. I told him I would make sure Kelly brings my laptop down, and BJ can use that. Lauren bogged his computer down with teen trap web viruses, even though she was told not to go to those certain sites. It completely ate his computer, erased Windows completely and everything he had stored on it.

Anyway, church was fun. It was a sermon BJ and I both needed to hear, about how God can work in your life no matter where you are, or what you have. In our devotions, BJ and I just finished the book of Joshua, and move onto Judges tonight.

So, after church BJ and I went back to his house for lunch, but his mom was asleep so we went to A&W instead. I had a headache, and thought it was because I hadn't eaten anything. So, I ate. Probably too fast, but I ate. Hoping it would be better.

Then we went to Shakespeare to take some pictures to send home. I was feeling a little weird, and I felt bad...because he wanted to walk around and explore, and I was feeling too dizzy.

After that we went to the RAVE movie theater to see "Failure to Launch". It was really funny, and headache/sickness aside, I really enjoyed it. I love hearing BJ's laugh. I really really love that. After the movie we went to get transmission fluid for my car, then we went home. My head was throbbing, and I felt absolutely disgusting. BJ took good care of me. He returned the favor. Fortunately I didn't have what he had, but I felt nasty. I still do...

We watched the re-make of "Yours, Mine, and Ours" (I love the original) and I just kept hoping to feel better. I ended up staying over night. I left and drove home this morning, and I am so glad to not be in a car. I thought about turning around and going back, but no one was home and that would probably be an unwelcome dilemma.

Anyway, I think I'm gonna go stick my head in the freezer for awhile. I think it's a hormone thing because of...medication cycles. I don't know. Ergh. I'm tired of feeling so gross. So sick all the time. Turns me into an evil troll, who says leave me alone and take care of me at the same time. Grouchy happy crabby joyous sour weird. That's me.

Bye

Just a short post today I think. Tuesday night I decided to cook for BJ. I spent most of my money on it, I had been planning it since Friday, I was excited. BUT... when BJ got there, I had everything ready, and he suddenly wasn't feeling well. Turns out he had gotten a nasty flu virus from Lauren, and spent all night in the bathroom, completely miserable. I was so scared. I stayed up all night with him, trying my absolute best to take care of him. I didn't feel like I was doing enough.

He got a bit of sleep in between 6am-8am...then stayed awake for about an hour, and then slept some more. I was too scared to sleep. I was tired enough to sleep deeply, but I was afraid something would happen to him and I wouldn't wake up.

To make a very long story very short, he's better now. I wish I could have done more. I love him with all my heart.

Me

Oh yeah, by the way. Anybody want some semi-famous homemade enchiladas? How about some beans? Spanish rice? Well...it's all in the fridge my friends. All in the fridge...

BJ! I updated MY journal. Now it's YOUR turn. Bwa-ha-ha. Kidding...maybe. Actually I'm not. Do I talk about you too much in here? Maybe I do...do you think people get sick of it? I don't like sick people. Bah! I'm terrible. I am sick people. Anyway. I love you, I'm not ashamed. Being here in Alabama, you naturally are a part of every story. I don't know enough people to have stories aside from you quite yet. Not complete stories, anyway. ANYWAY! I've had a song stuck in my head for about a week now. I think mayhaps I shall write part of it down, just for giggles and what not. Ya think?

Cool. I will do that. I enjoy lyrics, I do I do! (I also believe in fairies...) Oh! And I had something to tell Kelly. Momentary pause whilst I think of it...nope I simply can't recall. Oh well. The song then!

Shout out to the brothers Hanson!!

A Minute Without You (snippets of, anyway)

...When the minutes seem like hours
And the hours seem like days
When a week goes by
You know it takes my breath away
All the minutes in the world could never take your place
There's one thousand four hundred forty hours
In my day


...well I can't keep myself from thinking 'bout you
It's because I love you and I know that's it's true, yeah
Call it desperation, can't you see it in my eyes?
That I want to be with you
Until the sun falls from the skies!

Oh so appropriate bubble gum, dontcha think? Gotta love it! Anyway...2 entries in one day! I'm SMOKIN! Later taters!

Me

All right. I intend to keep my no whining promise for as long as possible. Ahem. So! Was that last entry from Friday? Yes. Pretty sure it was. So I lived out the rest of the day, waiting somewhat patiently for BJ to call when he got off work. (Can't help it, I just LOVE him!) He called awhile after he did, telling me a story about how his dad had borrowed his truck, but hadn't returned it by the time he got off work, and so it was missing.

ANYWAY. He eventually said he had to go because he was pulling up to Winn- Dixie to buy himself some drinks. So, I reluctantly said goodbye and hung up. I was watching Peter Pan (the live action movie from a couple years ago.) After awhile, one of my theories started to develop in my head.

Here's what you have to know about my theories/fantasies. I have a theory about my theories. No matter what they are...any scenario I come up with in my head...if I've thought of it, that completely eliminates the possibility of it really happening. Sound silly? Well it's the truth. Nothing I predict ever happens. I come up with entire scenarios, and most of them bad...so I can just stop it from taking place. Anyway. BJ was at the store, and I developed a theory.

I thought to myself... "Self that is me, Corrie...why would BJ not be able to talk to me in the grocery store? I had heard that he was in his truck and asked where he was going. I've got it self! BJ didn't want you to know how LONG he was in his truck, so he said he had to go! But he didn't...he's on his way here to surprise you! YES!"

And then I got mad at me for sabotaging possibility. Now I had completely erased the scenario from possible occurence. That's when I started to pray. "Please, God. Please please please let me be right this time. Please let me be right. I need to see him so badly. Please, please, please..."

About an hour passed after that, and I was still praying. I scolded myself for being stupid. Just because you don't hear from BJ for over an hour means nothing! That's BJ. But still...I was hopeful. I ran to the bathroom and brushed my teeth just in case. Then I told myself I was stupid again. I waited, and waited. Holding the phone in my hand whilst I watched Peter Pan (that's my poem for the day) waiting and saying my little prayers. Suddenly, I heard a car pull up into the parking lot. I immediately jumped up and peeked through the blinds. IT WAS BJ!!!! I WAS RIGHT!!! FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY WHOLE LIFE!!!

So, I literally jumped up and down and did a happy dance. BJ called my cell phone, pretending that he wasn't really there. I played along. He asked my plans for the night, and I couldn't wait. I opened the door, and there he was! The most wonderful sight I had ever seen! (Again...because I always feel that way when I go for a while without seeing him. No matter how small the while is...)

After our little reunion, we went up to visit Benlee and chatted for a bit. Then we went back down and watched "The Last Of The Mohicans". Good movie. I love it. SO! Friday ended up being really good. I had an excellent night.

Saturday I was still sick, but more with lung issues than sugar week issues I think. Benlee brought me breakfast from Chik-fil-A, and chai from Starbucks. What a sweetheart! I loved it. I spent the day organizing my stuff again, and going through some old video footage.

Sunday, Benlee was kind enough to drive to Montgomery so I could go to church with BJ. Benlee joined us, and I think it was a good sermon for Benlee to hear! He and Kelly will be looking for their own church, I hear. The sermon was about what the book of Acts says a church SHOULD be.

After church, BJ treated Benlee and I to Tenda- Chick (everything down here is chicken) and it was really good! We sat for a couple hours just chatting away. It was fun. Benlee got to hear all about my teachers from highschool. (since he IS one...I guess he could appreciate those stories more than most)

After lunch, we went to the mall to look for a couple movies. Sam Goody and Suncoast are closing there, and those are BJ's favorite stores. He ended up getting two he's been wanting for a long time. He was a happy boy. After the mall, BJ and I went to the nursing home to visit a friend of his, Georgia. She was very sweet. She told me BJ picked a good one (meaning me). She was so sweet. She smacked him around a few times about school. That was cute...

After that, BJ and I came back to my apartment and finished up Alias season 3. One more season to go, and then we've got to wait for the 5th and final season. Sad, sad, sad. We do love it so.

I guess that's it for now. Life's not without troubles, but if it was, it wouldn't be life, right? I'm hoping to feel like myself again within the next couple days. Parts of me wish I coud just sit in the closet and not move until Kelly gets here. Is that stupid? I don't think so. BJ can come sit in the closet with me.

More later! Bye now.

Me

So I'm still pretty sick. Last night was the worst of it. BJ called after he got off work. He talked to me for a little while, and then he had to go "eat dinner" ---which usually consists of a couple hours watching TV with the family..whatever. Usually I just wait patiently, but I felt really really sick, and I just wanted to hear him. I kept having mini coughing attacks. I sat on the bathroom floor for awhile. The bad thing I hate happened...where you cough so hard for so long, that instead of just hacking stuff up, you make yourself sick. Reverse ham sandwich...not so yummy.

Benlee had called while I was sitting in the bathroom. His message said to call him for anything. But honestly? I knew nothing would help. Nothing outside of what I'm used to, anyway. I had told BJ I felt "really not good"... but I guess that didn't connect. He said he would try to get through with "dinner" as soon as he could. Almost two hours later...

I was mad, because I was jealous. He has his family. I thought about begging him to come and stay with me last night. There are some things only boyfriends can do, like hold you in their arms until you fall asleep. When he called back I was so upset and exhausted, that I blurted out something I didn't even know was on my mind. "I WANT TO GO HOME". He was quiet, and I apologized. I said I didn't mean it. I still don't know if I did. Technically there's no "home" to go home to anyway. My room is dad's new office.

We talked everything over again. Everything is always the same. I feel bad, and then he feels bad, and then I feel bad for making him feel bad. I know it will all turn out all right, but none of it happened like I had planned.

BJ is it for me. I know I'm supposed to be with him for the rest of my life. He's my one. My one and only. Last night he was talking about our future. A future I can fully trust and believe in, because FINALLY I know it's really going to happen. I just wish the future was NOW, ya know?

I keep thinking I made a mistake. Not a mistake in being with him, no no. But I left my world to be with BJ. To BE with BJ, not see him once or twice a week for a few hours. That probably sounds selfish...but I think I deserve to be selfish after all the waiting for everything and everybody. It's my turn!

I wish I would have tried harder...pushed people harder to help me stay in Montgomery. I asked Kelly to live in Montgomery...but I completely understood why both she and Benlee wanted Kelly in Opelika. I gave up Montgomery because Opelika is easy. Benlee is taking care of everything he can, and I am so grateful. Unfortunately it's just awkward. Just like I could never spend tons of time with Paul without Sunnie. Benlee is a great guy! But Benlee is Kelly's boyfriend. Kelly gets to live in the same building as he does. Kelly gets to see him every day for the rest of her life. I feel like it was my turn, my time to do that. I shouldn't complain. I got 6 weeks.

Benlee says he's grateful to me for making this sacrifice. BJ is grateful to me for making the sacrifice to move down here in the first place. I'm grateful to both of them for everything they've done. I just wish it were different. I wish it were different...I wish, I wish, I wish. Enough wishes. Time for my fairy tale ending...

Okay. That's it, I'm done complaining about it. I promise. No more. I'll get over it. Good things come to those who wait. I waited and prayed forever to find BJ...so another forever is nothing to wait for my happily ever after, right? Right. I'll start chanting that in my sleep and soon I'll start believing it. This is the last time I'm gonna whine like a little kid and say it.... IT'S NOT FAIR!!! WAAAAAAAAAA! NOOOOO!!!!!! ...ahem. Okay. I'm done now.

I miss you. Who, you ask? All of you. I feel disconnected from everything I've ever known. "Misery, is what I feel when you're not around, so I can't heal...Misery is what I feel, it's what I feel..." Go Scottie boy Moffatt man. I couldn't have said it better myself.

Peace

Me

I am ill. Girls are cursed. Forgive me for bringing it up, but come on! Poor, poor girls. Especially those of us cursed twice as much by certain additional "female problems". They make me sick. Literally. Curses be to sugar week! Every month, I get the attitude that states ; if I could stop being a girl, I would RIGHT NOW!. But then I rationalize, and think...no no no. Then I'd have to be a gay man. And I don't want that. No. And since BJ isn't a gay man either, it just wouldn't work.

I know, I know. I'm beyond help. But seriousy. Awake half the night. I've been on the couch all day, so I decided to sort of stretch and walk all the way up here...one floor up, I'm telling you. It's rough. I don't think I'll last long vertically. But something to keep my mind of the pain/dizziness/nausea...oh yes. My blog!

So I've been having a rough time, no doubt. I miss my family, I miss BJ...he came to visit me for a while yesterday. I blinked and he was gone. I hate that. In bed at night I sometimes find myself wishing I had never moved to Alabama. Then I think of all the times I felt completely miserable in Minnesota! I then came to realize I would be unhappy either way. I guess I just have to find out which one is worse. I don't like being miserable...duh.

So that's that. Not much has changed, I guess. This is a bad week. Forgive me ahead of time. And Sugar week never lasts 1 week. Usually it's almost always two. Cursed, cursed, cursed. I quit...I wish. I wish I had something better to write about. But no... the couch calls.

I miss my family. I hope I get to see them soon.

Bonjour!

I can't help but feel a little bit French being in Benlee's apartment. It's fun though! Anyway! So I moved to Opelika. It is a very nice apartment. Different from Benlee's, so I'm looking forward to Kelly's reaction. True, it's the same floor plan, but the actual floors are different, and the bathroom is different....everything is brighter and more feminine. Makes sense, since Benlee's apartment is a true bachelor pad. Seriously, it's cute! All the food he has is either cereal, or can be made in the microwave.

My apartment downstairs has a brand new stove! Kelly and I are both very excited about that. We'll be cooking soon.

I moved in on Saturday, today is Tuesday. No running water yet, but that was because no $ for deposit, and Benlee the knight is taking care of all that. We (Kelly, BJ, myself) have been so blessed with Benlee. Thank you GOD! Your plan is awesome.

So in other news...living alone is trying, since it's the first time. Kelly hasn't even lived completely alone before. But...it's kinda like Benlee is my roommate. I see him all the time. That helps a lot. I really do miss BJ though. I got so spoiled seeing him every day for six weeks. After having a long distance relationship, I was just so happy to be able to see him whenever I wanted. To visit him at work...it was just so wonderful. It still IS wonderful, I just might only get to see him once or twice a week. I'm still hoping there's a way for me to keep my Sunday mornings with him. As a couple, we want to attend church together. It really strengthens our mutual relationship with Christ. ALONG with our daily devotionals we do. I'm finally starting to feel a lot closer to God. He's blessed BJ and I both so much.

Kelly will be here in a couple weeks, and hopefully by then I'll have a job and a routine. If not...to be honest, I'm really enjoying this much needed time off. I loved being with BJ's family, but there was always so much drama in and out of that house, I started to feel like a nutcase. I'm appreciating the quiet. That was hard at first, but...I'm getting used to it. And since I haven't slept in about a week, my body is a little angry with me. I'm still a night owl, but I CAN actually fall asleep now. Maybe because Cody loves twin size beds and is now curling up by me again. He slept on the floor the whole time we lived with BJ. Well, that's also because he LOVES BJ. He would sleep on the bed with BJ, but not with me. Little poop...nah. Cody is OUR doggie. BJ takes good care of him. Probably better than I do. They have races down the street. BJ usually beats the old man, but I think Cody beat him once or twice.

So I guess that's about it for now. I thought I should write an entry since I actually DID something, and should probably record it. Life is calm now. No more headaches...unless I mess my neck up. But I guess I was referring to the metaphoric headaches...yeah. Most of those are gone now. I think, I hope, I pray. So that's that!

I'm off to go do something else. I don't know what yet, but my eyes are starting to reject Benlee's computer monitor. It's an odd one...

Bye for now friends of mine! Contact me or something....*sniff* I miss you.

ME!

Me and my Baby

I have a lot to learn. I have to learn to let go. I have to learn to forget. I have to learn how to not think about a past I wasn't even a part of. I need to stop obsessing. I need to learn to be happy. I'm really bad at letting myself be happy.

Remember way back when to the beginning of this journal when I flooded it with Nick Carter lyrics? Some of them are just so perfect. I think I shall begin again! Yes. I will. As cheesy teeny bopper as it sounds, I still love Nick Carter's album. Speaking of the BSB, Brian is AWESOME! Brian Littrell, ladies and gentlemen. He's got a new single out entitled "In Christ Alone". My beloved BJ was amazing enough to download it as a ringtone. I love my baby!

So anyway. Back to lyrics. I think the one I have selected for today is just downright perfect. Enjoy! (Especially you)

"Help Me"

I wish I could define
All the thoughts that crossed my mind
They seem too big for me to choose
I don't know which ones to lose
When I'm falling down so far
I think I'll never see your light
Bouncing off of me
Shining down here from your eyes

Help me
Figure out the difference
Between right and wrong
Weak and strong
Day and night
Where I belong and
Help me
Make the right decisions
Know which way to turn
Lessons to learn
And just what my purpose is here

It's like I got the signals crossed
With messages I can't decode
Half asleep, never wide awake
And I'm in complete overload
I got so much information here
And nothing I can really grasp
I should know the truth
But I'm too afraid so I have to ask

Help me
Figure out the difference
Between right and wrong
Weak and strong
Day and night
Where I belong and
Help me
Make the right decisions
Know which way to turn
Lessons to learn
And just what my purpose is here

Wanna know you
More than anything
I need you
In my every dream, you're there for me
Do you love me?
For who I am, no angel
Just an ordinary (wo)man

Help me figure out why I'm stuck in the middle
Trying to understand why I can't
Why you're such a riddle
Got my eyes crossed
I'm thinking so hard and I know I'm missing the mark
Can you help me sort out
All this information
I'm just rackin' my brain, baby
Paying attention
But I'm still lost
And at all costs
I gotta know

So! What's up? Oh yeah. That's my question to answer. Let's see. What happened first? Oh, yeah! Valentine's Day! It was wonderful. It came in stages. First BJ brought me a balloon decorated with roses and fluttering butterflies attached to the outside. Then he had to go back to work. THEN he brought me three beautiful red roses in a vase with a red bow around it that said "I love you" everywhere.

That was when he came home that evening, and I was already dressed and ready. He got dressed in a suit and tie. (A Winnie The Pooh tie with hearts. It was so cute!!) We hung around for a bit, and then it was off to dinner!

BJ had made reservations for us at Dabbo's, a restaurant he had actually done some valet parking for a few times. They had a delicious Valentine's Menu. There were four choices, with no prices listed. (But c'mon. It was Valentine's Day, it was really nice, it was expensive. But it was SOOOO good!)

They had the cutest little boy dressed up in a tux giving roses to all the ladies. BJ has the sweetest, most intense stare sometimes. He would look at me from across the table, and I could hardly breathe. I would whisper 'what'? And he would just look at me and say "I love you." Oh my gosh! I melted.

After dinner, we stopped at his friend Aaron's house. It was really nice meeting another one of BJ's friends. Aaron is so funny. I really enjoyed meeting him.

After THAT, we went to Huntingdon to visit Nicole. She gave me a yellow rose. Aww! We chatted for awhile, and BJ pretended to be a CIA agent. I told him he wasn't quite convincing enough with the Winnie the Pooh tie. He was so funny though! Huntingdon has as a security entrance, and you have to push a button to get out. That was BJ the misplaced CIA agent's job.

So that was Valentine's Day! Lots of hugs and kisses. I had a wonderful time. It was perfect. I love you, BJ!

The days after that have been filled with packing, cleaning, arranging...I've been helping his mom Debra organize stuff so everything looks good for the bridal shower she's throwing here on Saturday. That just happens to be the same day I move out. Hehehe! Hopefully. Did I mention that? Probably. But if not...I'm moving to Opelika, Alabama on the 25th. Kelly will be joining me there on the 19th! Her boyfriend, Benlee lives upstairs from us, and he's helping us out BIG TIME!

The whole move thing has me excited AND terrified. I like being alone, I do. But being with BJ every day, and then not being with him at all, that can be a struggle. It will probably be good for us, but I'm still worried. I'm also worried about finding a job. That's always hard, and even harder when you don't really know where you are. I guess we'll see what happens.

In other news, I've gotten BJ addicted to so many things I love! Probably at the top of the list is ALIAS. We've watched almost three seasons in less than a month. What else does he love? My favorite drink! Half lemonade, and half lemon/lime soda. (Sprite, Sierra Mist, etc...) Also, my favorite snack, Clementines! They don't really exist here, but he works at a grocery store, and special ordered himself 4 crates. It was splendid! He's so funny. Especially about Alias. He fits it in whenever possible. No matter how tired he is, he can fit in another episode. It's fun re-watching them all. So much happens in that show, that it's impossible to remember everything!

Well, anyway. Life is good. I really miss my family, but I love being with BJ. I've got my Cody, and soon Kelly and Darla will be here too. I don't know if I mentioned this before, but Cairo has officially become Jamie's doggie. That was really really tough, but overall that is the best decision for the puppy. Let's just leave it at that. Cairo's happy, Jamie's happy...I feel like I lost, but hey. At least I gave him an excellent name.

So that's it for now, more later! G'bye!

ME

It's been awhile, hasn't it? There are so many times I've sat down to update in here, but instead I just...don't. Maybe because I feel like I have nothing to write about? No, I always have something to write about. Maybe it's because I don't want to write about the things I have to write about. That's probably what it is.

So I live in Alabama. Everything is pretty much how I expected it to be. Today is Valentine's Day. My first one, really. It should be fun.

I have a lot I want to write about...I think it will have to wait until tomorrow. We shall see. Later then...

Just have to take a moment to tell you a little bit about my day yesterday. I apologize if I spell the names wrong.

I awake yesterday morning to a young child's voice, in the kitchen behind my wall. I was confused. I heard the cutest little voice with the cutest little southern drawl saying :

"Uncle Jack! What are you doin?"

BJ's dad replied graciously, "Why, I'm makin' me some coffee."

"Uncle Jack! You always makin' coffee!"

I giggled to myself, as I got out of bed, went to the bathroom, followed by my usual routine of convincing Cody to jump up on BJ's stomach. I asked BJ who was here, and he said "My cousin Rhonda, and her daughter Cheyenne." We went out to say hello, and I saw one of the CUTEST little girls I have ever seen in my entire life. Golden curls, and incredibly long eyelashes. I was told she had just turned three in November.

The morning went on, and suddenly I found myself babysitting the brilliant child. She was the smartest thing I had ever seen/heard. Suddenly, she declared "I have to go poo-poo!" So, I escorted the little beauty to the bathroom. BJ made sure I didn't mind. I reminded him that I had done it a million times.

On the way there, Cheyenne grabbed a teddy bear. She dropped her pants once we reached the bathroom, and placed the bear gently on the floor beside the toilet. She hoisted herself up, and began the painful pushing. I sat on the edge of the tub to offer soothing comfort. Her pushing wasn't working. In near panic, she looked up at me and BJ and cried out "Can ya'll get some more teddy bears?" I couldn't help but laugh.

After pushing and pushing, she finally succeeded. She wrinkled her nose, and in the cutest, littlest voice ever, she whispered "Can ya'll smell it?" I laughed harder...BJ excused himself. She kept sniffing the air.

I can smell it. It smells. Yes. I can." After she wiped herself clean and jumped off the potty, she flushed the toilet, and waved goodbye sadly to her little poo-poo. "You're gone now." She sighed. "You were a nice one."

The little sweetheart offered endless entertainment for the rest of the day. She even performed her own personal rendition of "Shake Your Groove Thang" complete with an accidental strip-tease. I'm telling you...she's one of a kind. Barely three years old. Kelly would be madly in love with her.

Well that's all for now! Talk to you later!

Corrie

Hey Ya'll!

So, I've been in Alabama for a week now. My clothes are still in suitcases. I've got nowhere else to put them. Funny, huh? Not really. Everything is okay so far. I've tried to get over my paranoia about being a total burden, and in the way...I just can't shake the feeling.

I'm having a lot of fun with my new family, but I really miss my siblings and my parents. I miss my brother's insanely loud guitar amps. I miss Sunnie's random home appearances. I miss Kelly's enthusiasic broadway ramblings when she would come to visit me at the brothers Dunn. I miss being a frequent name in her journal entries. I am sad. But I'm still happy.

I keep wondering if I made the wrong decision. I really don't think I did, I just think my overall timing was bad. Oh, well. I've got BJ. He keeps my head out of the bad stuff most times. And I've got my Cody. I should be okay.

Write more some other time! Time for Devotions with BJ with our COuples devotional Bible. What a great story that is...to be told at another time.

Peace.

Over and out

SUP!

Well, a few things have happened, I guess. I live in Alabama now! Hehe. Guess that's something all right. It was a nice drive...I drove a total of 58 miles. BJ did the rest. I'm here now, and I'm job searching. Everything is good! Different, but good.

One of my biggest stresses about moving here was the puppy. I love Cairo! I'm crazy about him. But Cody...sheesh. Nothing can compare. I was dreading Cairo's cries in the night. There's nowhere to stash him here where no one can hear him. I was worried about what would happen to him if I left the house. He'd make a mess, crap everywhere, tear something to shreds, and BJ's family would have to take care of it. I hated that idea. SO...

A few days before I left, my mom made a confession. She had fallen in love with Cairo and wanted to keep him. I secretly wanted to leave him home...just for a little while! I am madly in love with that little fur ball. So mom is raising Cairo through the crazy puppy years, and when I get a place of my own, I retrieve my doggie. HOWEVER...I took CODY WITH ME! Everyone loves him here. Cody is especially in love with Debra. (BJ's mom) He's figured out that she's a total pushover for giving him dinner scraps. All he has to do is blink.

IN other news...I sent out a mass e-mail letting all my friends and family know I made it here okay, and thanking them for everything. Well, it got sent to Lynn Turner. She wrote me back, asking me to remove her from my e-mail list. AHHHH! What a witch. ARGH! I just....ergh.

In really sad news, my Grandpa doesn't have much time left. My mom and dad went to Arizona this morning to spend some time with him. Probably the last times they'll spend with him. I cry a little almost every day. I hate cancer. I'm really going to miss my Grandpa. I really really am.

So I guess that's all for now. I have to go make sure Cody isn't about to bite Lauren's finges off. Bye!

Well, it has been forever since I've written in here...so long in fact, that I couldn't remember how to login. HAHA! Funny things...anyway. I don't have much time now to make up for it, so I'll have to be brief.

So! I'm moving to Alabama in a week and 2 days. Almost less than that, because today is over halfway over. I almost didn't move...there was a huge emotional war...want details? Check out BJ's livejournal.

www.livejournal.com/users/livin4god1983

He's much better at the lengthy explanations, and I don't feel like revisiting that. He also listed excellent details about his trip up here for my birthday. So you can catch up with that there as well. Not that I don't want to write about that myself, it's just...well...I don't have the time to say everything I want to say.

So much has happened, lordy be. I met my biological father Craig Walter, and my older sister Shannon Miller, along with my nephew Tyler, and my niece Jenna. That happened on New Years Day. Wee!

Before that, my birthday happened, Christmas happened, and of course! A co-worker/friend of mine felt bad about things that had transpired with me recently. Cody attacked Sunnie and I decided not to take him to Alabama, which made me sad. My birthday party that Nancy "planned" altogether sucked, and BJ had just left, so one day I just crumbled. She decided to buy me a puppy.

She bought me a beautiful little Sheltie boy. I named him Cairo. (That name was originally thought of by Madison Pomeroy, at the age of two...I must point that out. The little genius.) I love Egypt, so it fits perfectly. He's adorable, and he's about 9 weeks old now. I'm madly in love with him, but no dog can ever compare to Cody. He's my first my last and only. My one true doggie love.

So BJ, Cairo, Craig...everything kinda happened at once. Anyway, I'm at work now. Tonight Nikki and I are going to have a sleepover, probably ending the friendly friendship we have. We'll both disappear soon. I'll always love her though. We're going to see RENT!!! One last time. And free ice cream. Oh, yes. Yes indeed.

In other and final news, I love BJ with everything I am. Thanks for sticking up for me, and being my Knight. I love you.

So, later! Maybe I'll write more some time.

Me

Yo homie, Gilligan! We's goin back to da islands! Hehehe. Well, I haven't started an entry like that in awhile. Anyway! I'm on my break here at Dunn Bros. Wait...what? TIME WARP! Yeah, I'm back here again. And I don't have much time left on my break, so I'll have to be as brief as possible. Let's see...

I quit got a job at Dunn Bros, quit Caribou, and Elke got fired. Wee! Was that brief enough? I don't really feel like going into all the details. Why focus on the negative?? I'd much rather focus on all the wonderful things going on in my life.

I've been sorta stressed about the Alabama thing. But now, I have a place to live, and I plan on leaving on January 13th! WEE! I'm really excited. Excited about actually moving, excited about where I'm living and who I'm living with, excited that I get to bring a doggie with me (although it has yet to be determined which one) and overall, I am SOOOOO excited to be able to see BJ whenever I want to.

I've already got the majority of my packing done, that's how excited I am. 2 months in advance! I can't wait. BJ is going to buy a one-way ticket and drive down there with me. Things are good now.

I don't know what I'm going to do about Christmas. I don't have the money to shop for everybody, not only that...but I have no idea WHAT to get for anyone. Crazy crazy crazy.

So that's about all I've got for now. Write more when I've got more time!!

Later taters!

Corrie